Since Airbnb and Couchsurfing have become valuable alternatives to regular hotel stays, the gay market is being served with gay friendly options. Misterbnb and the Queer Couchsurfers group (the most active group on CS) are becoming more and more popular. Why?
-> Like to visit my city? Check: Gay Rotterdam is hot and happening
Straight friends are curious about these specialty-communities and numerous times I have been asked the same question: ‘Do you have sex with the hosts/ surfers?’
They probably have no idea how insulting this question is. Just like this one actually. When I tell them this, I get weird excuses like: ‘but you (gay) guys are known for being more easy with those things’. Imagine that straight people are having sex with every owner of a Bed & Breakfast: it would be as insulting to assume.
It is like saying that all owners of such places are sex addicts who have multiple sex dates per day. That doesn’t even sound like a straight thing 😉
-> Interested in gay-travel? Read Go where the Spanish guys go! or Weekendtrip to Brussels; where do the gays go?
Why are there gay alternatives?
Whereas a lot of people think that it is just a sex-thing, they have no clue how it feels to be not appreciated for who you are. The main reason for me to book through MisterBnb was that I do not want to feel weird to enter a place with my boyfriend.
-> Update: these days I also feel very comfortable in adults only hotels.
Some Airbnb-hosts have other opinions about that. I even experienced the embarrassing situation of hotelmanagers who apologised for having just one bed in the assigned room (which we booked on purpose).
Staying at a gay(friendly) place means you do not have to feel ashamed for being gay. The same goes for the Couchsurfing group: knowing that you can talk freely about your partner or ask where the local gaybars are without having an awkward silence as an answer is something that really gives you the feeling of being yourself while on holiday.
So, did I have sex with my hosts or guests?
Seriously, do you really want an answer to that question? Would you even believe me if I said that I never had sex with my MisterBnb-hosts? Because that is my answer to that question. I am not saying that everybody is as strict on this as I am. And everybody can do whatever he or she wants. But since we’re on the topic:
Did you have sex with the staff of your hotel or the old lady that ran the Bed & Breakfast or Airbnb-place?
Comments are welcome underneath this post 😉
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Well said! I think it’s pretty ridiculous that everyone assumes these apartment rental sites are all about sex…
Thanx Adam! Do you use MisterBnB too?
I haven’t used it yet – AirBNB is often cheaper…
What about the guest who book your place in intention to get laid by the host? Would you let it happens?
I am not renting out my place, but can imagine that some hosts are hoping for that to happen. And guests too maybe. If they both want that, I don’t see any problem.
Does anyone have referral code for Misterbnb? I am going to give it a try for our trip to London. thanks in advance.
Well, you can use the link in the article to book. But there are no publicly couponcodes, it’s the prices that your host ask and in that way you are supporting the LGBT-community anyway, right?
Hi 🙂
I’ve liked your article, but I personally have had sex with a few of my hosts when I was travelling through the US, and even if I can understand why you get offended when people ask you that question, I felt kinda offended as well when I discovered I was apparently some kind of sex-addict.
So please, you can do whatever you want, but allow people to do whatever they want, too.
Thanks 🙂
PS: some of my straight (girl) friends also had sex with some of their couchsurfing hosts, so maybe it’s just you. If you’re single, open-minded and if both are up for it, where’s the problem?
Exactly; if you’re both up for it, it is fine by me. As long as it is not the expectation it’s al ok 😉
I’ve managed BnB properties for over 4 years now and the issue rarely comes up. If the guests are obviously gay I let them know I am too and give them advice on local gay places of interest. I have fancied 2 or 3 of my gay guests before and likewise a few have fancied me but it never went any further than the loose suggestion we catch up for a drink sometime during their stay, which I haven’t followed up on. I think there was only one booking I would have definitely bit the hand off of had they invited me, but they didn’t and I ended up cleaning up after their rule-breaking sex party instead haha. Well I charged them extra for that so I can’t complain. If it happens, it happens, I am not against it, but generally I prefer to remain professional, same with clients I fancied in other jobs I did.. generally I didn’t shag them until our professional relationship was over.
Hey Rex,
Great to hear your opinion about this. I am not so much offended, though I think it is kind of weird that somehow it’s the first thing people think about, instead of feeling safe in a place and welcome in someones home. But maybe that is just me indeed.
Where are you based, we might stay at your place next time 😉
P.S. I get similar questions from straight friends about what us gay guys get up to, and honestly it doesn’t upset me one little bit. No we wouldn’t assume anything about them and their straight sex lives, but if you are offended by them suggesting it to us, that is a personal choice to be offended. We generally do have more exciting sex lives I think than a lot of our straight friends and they are just looking to be titillated by another of our adventurous stories. I am flattered by that. Lots of my straight male friends say they wish they fancied guys cos I have way more fun than they do, so I take it as one of the perks of being gay, which helps balance out the greater disadvantages, such as mentioned in this article for things like being embarrassed to book rooms with a single bed when travelling with a boyfriend and stuff like that.
Of course people are using the site as a sex site. It’s targeted for gay men hosting other gay men in their homes. Helloooo….obviously not everyone will use it as a sex app but many will – lets just be honest about it.
I am just starting this venture. I had one person ask to see the house before he booked. I invited him over and he apparently felt it was a hook up. I start out being disappointed because this is really not my intention. I do have it listed as clothing optional so maybe that is the clue. I am not doing this for sex…too old ….but I am sure it sounds as if it is that opportunity. Advice to combat that stereo type is welcome.
Well, I think opening up your house to provide a safe environment for anyone to be whoever they are, does not give anyone the right to infringe your personal rights. Stating in your profile that you are not open for those kind of guests should definitely make a difference, though it is a bit twisted, isn’t it?
Once a cute (gay, of course) couple from France stayed in my BnB house, that I run with my family.
They booked a studio apartment with 2 single beds using Airbnb, and kept the fact that they’re gay to themselves, which we respected.
After a few nights one of them got sick and stayed at the appartment, while the other had a feew beers in the bar area, which I have served to him. We were alone, and it was getting 12 o’clock, when the bar closes.
We continued our chat as I was getting the place ready for closing, and once I turned off the lights (he was waiting for me to get out at the entrance of the bar) and was about to exit the bar he kissed me, and has managed to put his hands into my underwars.
I FREAKED OUT (even though I kinda always imagined a situation like this becoming reality during my teenage years, and BTW he was super hot guy) and just pushed him away.
Tommorrrow both of us acted as nothing has happened, and he left a good review on our Airbnb page.
Sleeping with your clients is unethical… at least I see it that way.
I first used mister bnb in 2016 as guest, and I had a 100% record of sleeping with the host or cohost. I became a host in 2018 and so far have had sex with all but 2 of my guests. The first guest told me that is how you choose the host. Of the 2 guests that I didn’t have sex with. one of them had their child with them so it was not likely to happen , but I guess it would of otherwise. I guess I wouldn’t have had sex with the author of this article , he seems a little uptight.
Where are you located? I would like to visit you! 😛
I stayed at a MisterB&B in France last weekend. The host was a cute guy who was about twenty years younger than me (32/51). We sat and talked in the evening while drinking a cup of tea. We were both flirting lightly while we talked. He eventually took my hand and pulled me over. Yeah, we ended up having sex. It was fun. I was not expecting it, nor did I pick him because of his profile pic. It was all about price and location. It doesn’t sound like he was expecting sex either, but we connected for the night. Was it unethical? I don’t think so. It was just two guys enjoying each other’s company for a night. I got the room at the regulation (and fair) price, and I got a little extra. I’m not bothered by it. I had an active dating life in my thirties. It was fun to relive that for a moment. I certainly won’t expect it from my next host. It just happened. You know, chemistry.